or
Manifestations
or
Spiritual Testimonies
or
Relations of the Spirit
Relation XI.
________________
Relation 11
- Written from Palencia in May 1581, and
- Addressed to Don Alonzo Velasquez,
Bishop of Osma,
Who Had Been,
When (he was) Canon of Toledo,
One of the Saint's Confessors. [735]
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Topics/ Discussion Questions
to keep in mind
as we read along:
1). Why is Relation 11 significant
in regard to the spiritual state
of St. Teresa?
[Relation 11: # 1 ]
2). How did St. Teresa discuss
the certainty of possession
of the fruition of God?
[Relation 11: # 1 ]
[Interior Castle: Mansion 7:
Ch. 2: Paragraph #2, 6, 7, 13 ]
3). What was St. Teresa's response
to this confi dence and certainty?
[Relation 11: # 1, 2, 8 ]
4). What did St. Teresa say
regarding her visions?
[Relation 11: # 3 ]
5). What did St.Teresa say
regarding her interior locutions?
[Relation 11: # 4 ]
6). What is St. Teresa's greatest desire?
[Relation 11: # 5 ]
7). How are St. Teresa's
"acts and desires"
different now, compared to the past?
[Relation 11: #5, 6, 7 ]
8). What does she now say
regarding the wish to die?
[Relation 11: #7, 8 ]
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Relation XI
Jesus.
1. Oh, that I could clearly explain
to your Lordship
the peace and quiet
my soul has found!
for it has so great a certainty
of the fruition of God,
that it seems to be
as if already in possession, [736]
though the joy is withheld.
I am as one
to whom another has granted by deed
a large revenue,
into the enjoyment and use
of which he is to come
at a certain time,
but until then
has nothing
but the right already given him
to the revenue.
In gratitude for this,
- my soul would abstain
from the joy of it,
because it has not deserved it;
- it wishes only to serve Him,
even if in great suffering,
and at times it thinks
it would be very little
if, till the end of the world,
it had to serve Him
who has given it this right;
for, in truth,
it is in some measure
no longer subject, as before,
to the miseries of this world;
though it suffers more,
it seems as if
only the habit were struck,
for my soul is, as it were,
in a fortress with authority,
and accordingly
does not lose its peace.
Still, this confidence does
- not remove from it,
its great fear of offending God,
- nor make it less careful
to put away every hindrance
to His service,
- yea, rather,
it is more careful than before.
But it is
so forgetful
of its own interests
as to seem, in some measure,
to have lost itself,
so forgetful
of self is it in this.
Everything is directed
to the honour of God,
to the doing of His will
more and more, and
to the advancement of His glory.
2. Though this be so,
yet, in all that relates to
health and the care of the body,
it seems to me
that I am more careful than I was,
that I mortify myself less in my food, and
do fewer penances:
it is not so with the desires I had;
they seem to be greater.
All this is done
that I may be the better able
to serve God in other things,
for I offer to Him very often,
as a great sacrifice,
the care I take of my body,
and that wearies me much,
and I try it sometimes
in acts of mortification;
but, after all,
this cannot be done
without losing health,
and I must not neglect
what my superiors command.
Herein, and in the wish for health,
much self-love
also must insinuate itself;
but, as it seems to me,
I feel that
it would give me more pleasure, and
it gave me more pleasure
when I was strong, to do penance,
for, at least, I
- seemed to be doing something, and
- was giving a good example, and
I was free from the vexation
which arises out of the fact
that I am not serving God at all.
Your Lordship will see
what it will be best to do
in the matter.
3. The imaginary visions have ceased,
but the intellectual vision
of the Three Persons and
of the Sacred Humanity
seems ever present,
and that, I believe,
is a vision of a much higher kind;
and I understand now,
so I think,
that the visions I had
came from God,
because
- they prepared my soul
for its present state;
- they were given only
because I was
so wretched and
so weak:
God led me by the way
which He saw was necessary;
but they are, in my opinion,
of great worth
when they come from God.
4. The interior locutions have not left me,
for, whenever it is necessary,
our Lord gives me certain directions;
and now, in Palencia,
were it not for these,
there would have been committed
a great blunder,
though not a sin. [737]
5. The acts and desires do not seem
to be so vigorous
as they used to be,
for, though they (desires) are great,
I have one much greater
- to see
-- the will of God accomplished and
-- His glory increased;
for as the soul
- is well aware
that His Majesty knoweth
what is expedient herein, and
- is so far removed
from all self-seeking,
these acts and desires
-- quickly end,
and, as it seems to me,
-- have no strength.
Hence
the fear
the fear
I have at times
though without
disquietude and
pain
as formerly,
- that my soul is dulled, and
- that I am doing nothing,
because
-- I can do no penance;
acts of desire
for suffering,
for martyrdom, and
of the vision of God,
-- have no strength in them,
-- and, most frequently,
I cannot make them.
I seem to live only for
eating and drinking, and
avoiding pain in everything;
and yet this gives me none,
except that sometimes,
as I said before,
I am afraid
that this is a delusion;
but I cannot believe it,
because so far as I can see,
I am not under the sway
of any strong attachment
to any created thing,
not even to all the bliss of heaven,
but only to the love of God;
and this does not grow less,
on the contrary,
I believe it is growing,
together with the longing
that all men may serve Him.
6. But, for all this,
one thing amazes me:
I have not the feelings
I had formerly,
so strong and so interior,
which tormented me
- when I saw souls go to their ruin, and
- when I used to think
I had offended God.
I cannot have these feelings now,
though I believe my desire
that God be not sinned against
is not less than it was.
7. Your Lordship must consider
that in all this,
in my present
as well as
in my previous state,
I can do no more, and
that it is not in my power
to serve Him better:
I might do so,
if I were not so wicked.
I may say, also,
that if I were now
to make great efforts to wish to die,
I could not,
nor can I make the acts
I used to make,
nor feel the pains I felt
for having offended God,
nor the great fears
I had for so many years when {p. 479}
I thought I was under a delusion:
and accordingly,
I have no need
of learned men, or
of speaking to anybody at all,
only to satisfy myself
that I am going the right road now,
and whether I can do anything.
I have consulted certain persons
on this point,
with whom I had taken counsel
on the others,
with Fra Dominic [i.e., Banes],
the Master Medina,
and certain members of the Society.
I will be satisfied with the answer
which you, my Lord,
may give me,
because of the great trust
I have in your Lordship.
Consider it carefully,
for the love of God!
Neither do I cease to learn
that certain souls
of people connected with me
when they died
are in heaven:
of others I learn nothing.
Oh, in what solitude I find myself
when I consider
that the comparison
of which I spoke to you,
concerning the return from Egypt,
does not apply to the child
at my mother's breast. [738]
8. I am at peace within;
and my likings and dislikings
have so little power
to take from me
the Presence of the Three Persons,
of which,
while it continues,
it is so impossible to doubt,
that I seem clearly to know
by experience
what is recorded by St. John,
that God will make His dwelling
in the soul: [739]
and not only by grace,
but because He will have the soul
feel that presence,
and it brings with it so many blessings,
particularly this,
that there is no need
to run after reflections
to learn that God is there.
This is almost always
the state I am in,
except when my great infirmities oppress me.
Sometimes, God will have me suffer
without any inward comfort;
but my will never swerves,
not even in its first movements,
from the will of God.
This resignation to His will
is so efficacious,
that I desire neither life nor death,
except for some moments,
when I long to see God;
and then the Presence of the Three Persons
becomes so distinct
as to relieve the pain of the absence,
and I wish to live
if such be His good pleasure
to serve Him still longer.
And if I might help,
by my prayers,
to make but one soul
love Him more, and
praise Him,
and that only for a short time,
I think that
of more importance
than to dwell in glory.
The unworthy servant
and daughter of your Lordship,
Teresa de Jesus.
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Foot Notes:
[735] This Relation is usually printed
among the letters of the Saint, and
Don Vicente did not change the practice,
assigning as his reason
the Saint's reference in [523] § 4
to certain transactions
in which she was engaged.
The letter is the 333rd
(336th in the second edition),
and the 4th of vol. ii., ed. Doblado,
and is probably the latest account
of the state of her soul,
for she died on October 4
in the following year.
[736] See Inner Fortress, vii. ch. ii.
[737] This relates to the taking
of the hermitage of our Lady de la Calle,
in Palencia (De la Fuente).
See Foundations, ch. xxix.
[738] "La soledad que me hace pensar
no se puede dar aquel sentido à el que
mama los pechos de mi madre,
la ida de Egito!"
This passage, Don Vicente observes,
was omitted in all editions prior to his;
he does not know what it means;
and the translator can give
no corresponding English words.
[Transcriber's note:
The Spanish quoted here was printed
in the body of the text, [524] p. 479;
English rendition supplied
from Corrigenda, p. [viii].]
[739] St. John xiv. 23:
"Mansionem apud eum faciemus."
Jesus answered, and said to him:
If any one love me,
he will keep my word, and
my Father will love him, and
we will come to him, and
will make our abode with him.
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| End of Relations XI |
